It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
did you just send me my own nude
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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