I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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