My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
