I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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