Where is the hickey?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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