Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize