We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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