I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
