I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
