just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
