Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
