he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
