Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
