well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
