I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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