He kissed a someone with a penis
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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