He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
