i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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