So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
