sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Mom said you looked used
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize