Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
