I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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