Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
