He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
