The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
