Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize