he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
