Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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