I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
