Swine flu. Run for my life!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize