We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
