after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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