try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize