Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize