In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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