So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My bed smells like the plague
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
