your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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