One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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