any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
