She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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