You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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