I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
