just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
