I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
