ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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