So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
