im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
