Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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