I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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