Plan B is the new Plan A
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
