Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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