I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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