Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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