We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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