Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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