I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You can't special order awesome
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
