We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
