MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
