your thong is hanging out like whoa
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We got so high we made milksteak
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
