I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
