shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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