Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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