i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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