I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
