You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
