Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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