I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
