dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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