New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
